Plan C - Depressed, Self-Harming Izuku Midoriya
by JaxNixxi
Summary: Todoroki goes to talk to Midoriya about the dorm's dinner plans for the night when he catches a glimpse of something which concerns him. Eventually, All-Might gets involved, and Midoriya is forced to throw away certain "toys."/ Izuku Midoriya has a history of self harm which he is trying to recover from. He's caught.


The UA dorms were always a source of endless entertainment before and after lights out. It was quite common for small parties and games to happen. The girls would often play Truth or Dare, some of the boys would take time to cook, and occasionally a pile of students would end up wrestling with one another. However, equally as often, the dorms would be quiet.

Izuku rested in his own personal dorm bathroom. A few shampoo and conditioner bottles were on each corner of the tub as well as various other cosmetic products – many of which were from his mother's habits which he had picked up.

He turned the water on as warm as it would go, sticking his foot in every so often to test the temperature. His mirror soon fogged up. His hair was tied back with a clip, keeping his face mask clear of debris. He slipped deeper into the warm water, steam rising around him. He was careful to keep the masked face above the water, though, taking pride in looking his best.

Izuku exhaled softly, opening his eyes. They had this calm lazy look in them. He raised his hand out of the water and played what seemed to be air piano to the lull of the song his phone offered him.

 _"And then I'll give you my ears to hear all the sirens, and then I'll give you my heart to fill the emptiness in your chest-"_

It was a gentle song to the outside viewer but having been fluent in English the meaning truly came out. It was much darker than one would peg Izuku to be. After it ended and before the next one began he dipped his hands back into the water, and then removed his facemask. He took off the clip and dipped under the water, holding his breath as he took in the sudden blurred senses.

His vision warped under water as if we was to go blind, and his song faded into nothing more than dizzy noise. The warm water overtook him as he held his breath and closed his eyes, staying under as long as he could withstand before sticking just his nose and mouth out from under. He reached half-heartedly around the bathtub, sitting up.

His usual routine did not seem to calm his mind today, it was racing far more than it should. Perhaps he did not sleep well, or maybe today's lessons had drained him too much. However, regardless, he knew he needed to bring a certain level of silence to his over reacting brain.

He poured lavender oil into the bathtub and inhaled deeply, hoping it would calm his nerves. However, when such failed, he felt his mind moving faster. He hated being out of control of his thoughts. It was as if he was in the middle of a fifty-man orchestra and he couldn't find an escape. His chest started to constrict. His lungs rejected the humid air and proceeded to make him feel like he was drowning, even though his face was above the water.

He hated plan C. He hated how it hurt him, but he needed the endorphin's sweet release.

He exhaled sharply and reached over the edge of the bath, grabbing a busted razor and pulling it under the water. He closed his eyes, imagining the look of disappointment this would cause to anyone who happened to find out, but it was quickly stamped out by the racing thoughts.

The second he dragged it across his hip he felt the calm come. His shoulders relaxed, and his breath became less stressed. He repeated it a couple times, making certain it would stay where no one would see once he put on his boxers. A red tint clouded the water as he sat up, rinsing off the razor and throwing it into the sink from his warm spot. He had done enough, his mind was calm again.

He washed the wound and pulled the plug on his bath. He pulled a towel down from the bar which held his curtain and wrapped it around his hips. The blood on it would easily be washed out when he was done.

Izuku sat on his sink, wiping the mirror down with a hand towel. He plugged his hair dryer in and grabbed his comb, drying his hair and trying to tame it at least a little bit. He hated when it snagged, it made him anxious.

Todoroki knocked on his bathroom door. "Izuku, are you alright? It has been over an hour and we were expecting you to join us. Bakugo made dinner tonight. Should I save you some?"

He shut off his hair dryer and put it down on the counter next to him. He popped the door open after adjusting his towel without looking.

"I couldn't hear you, sorry, hair."

"Bakugo made dinner. Are you joining us anytime soon?"

"Oh!" he said, "I'll be out in a second. I got to take care of something quick."

"Would it, perhaps, be the blood on your leg?"

Izuku's blood ran cold as ice, he glanced down and registered that the towel did not completely stop the bleeding. The orchestra in his head started again and his heart started racing. His throat closed up and he forgot how to breath for a moment.

"Izuku, are you alright? If you want I can bandage it."

"No!" he said quickly, "I mean, uh, it's okay. I just reopened an injury is all."

Todoroki looked him up and down, marking the anxious look on his face and how out of place it appeared to be. He took careful note of the way his eyes looked when they were tinted red and how the dark bags under his eyes seemed so very uncharacteristic. It did not help that he would not make eye contact with him, and he was fidgeting. A quick glance around the bathroom offered no outstanding clues, aside from what appeared to be a busted, damp, very out-of-place razor in the sink.

"Izuku are you lying to me?"

"Wh, what would make you say tha-t?" his voice cracked. It was at that moment he knew he fucked up and that Todoroki knew it was more than a simple accidental injury.

"Will you show me your leg?"

"No."

"Izuku please, I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm okay I promise I-"

Todoroki grabbed Izuku's free hand, holding it. It wasn't until then that he realized he was flailing it as he talked – it had nearly hit Shoto's face.

"Show me your leg."

"No."

"If you do not willingly remove the towel from your right leg I will pull the entire thing off. I do not care if I see your penis."

He tried to pull his hand away and Todoroki looked him dead in the eyes. He seemed to be in pain from Izuku's actions. His eyebrows were scrunched in a way to convey worry that not many would understand.

"C-can you turn around for a second," Izuku asked quietly and Todoroki complied. He adjusted his towel properly now that he wasn't looking and wiped his eyes. He did not know when he started tearing up, only that he shouldn't have. It had not helped his case. He grabbed the razor, opened the mirror's cabinet, put it in there and withdrew his first aid kit.

"O-okay," he said quietly. Todoroki closed the door before turning back around. His eyes widened for a split second before he cleared his throat.

"Those are self-harm wounds," he stated more to himself than to Izuku, who shook his head at the answer with tears running down his face again.

"Y-You can't tell anyone," he whispered in a panic. "I don't want to get kicked out of UA."

Todoroki shut the lid to the toilet and had Izuku sit on it, He took a closer look at the wound and grabbed the first aid kit from the sink.

"We are mandated reporters, Izuku, it's a part of hero training."

"Y-Yeah but-"

"Stop talking. This may burn a little."

Todoroki continued working with this unreadable expression. Internally however he was asking a million questions to the young man in front of him. Why would he, the sweetest kid in the school who had never once faltered, feel the need to harm himself? He taped the wound shut before closing his eyes and turning away.

"I will wait outside of your dorm. We will go talk to a teacher about this together. I do not trust you to do it alone and I will not tell them without you to explain yourself."

"Todoroki please don't make me do this," he said. However, Todoroki shot him a look of pure concern which made him shut his mouth and bow his head.

"Izuku please let me help you get help. You are one of the smartest, most talented people in the hero course and I would absolutely hate to see you lose your life because your hand had slipped."

"I-It's not like that," he tried to say, but his throat had yet again closed up. Todoroki left the bathroom door open but closed the one to the entrance of his dorm room. He was left alone to get dressed and collect himself, but there was no escaping this.

/

"Young Midoriya!" All-Might said when he saw his young prodigy, "what brings you to my office?"

Todoroki stepped into the room behind him, nodding a greeting toward the teacher before closing the door quietly behind him.

"It's nice to see you too, Todoroki. Did you need something?"

Todoroki looked at Izuku, but he remained silent, staring at the floor. All-Might's smile dropped a bit when he noticed the very obvious change in his personality.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Izuku if you do not tell him I will," he said from behind the green haired kid. He shook his head and Todoroki sighed to himself, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I found self-harm scars on Izuku's right leg, below his hip. I have treated them and brought him here to let him explain himself."

Todoroki explained it as if it was just a normal day in the office but anyone who knew the stoic child would know that the look on his face was full of concern and care. He squeezed Izuku's shoulder when he saw him hunch over more.

"I uh," Midoriya started.

"Izuku is what he is saying true?" he asked, getting down on his legs to look at him in the eyes. His smile was gone, and his eyes were that of a kicked puppy, wondering what he did wrong. How could such a gentle and happy child be full of such pain?

"Yes," he whispered, "please don't kick me out of UA."

"Oh, kiddo no," All-Might whispered back, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around the kid and rocking him softly as tears fell against his shoulder.

"No, no, no, you're not being kicked out, Izuku, I promise. It's okay."

"Are you mad at me?" he asked. His entire body was raked in tremors and all he could think about was the feelings of his mentor.

"No, Izuku. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at me for not helping you."

"I-It's not your fault!" he said, lifting his head from his shoulder. "I didn't tell you i-it's my fault not yours don't blame yourself it's my fault for failing you I-"

"Izuku," All-Might began, backing up to look at him. His hands remained firmly on his shoulders. "You are not to blame. Okay? It's those who did not help you who are to blame."

Izuku did not reply, he hunched his shoulders and refused to look at his mentor. He was wracked with guilt and could not bring himself to face the man who he failed.

"Can I ask you why?" All-Might asked, helping Izuku to the couch in his office and sitting next to him. It was around this moment where Todoroki slipped away, nodding at All-Might with an unspoken request: to keep Izuku safe. All-Might had nodded back.

"I-I don't know it just, it stops the way my mind races whenever it gets to be too much. I try to stop it other ways and this is my plan C and I hate doing it because it makes me feel like I'm failing you but sometimes it is the only way to make it quiet again. I hate when my brain is loud it makes me feel out of control and exhausted and like a failure and I can't help but think about everything that I'm doing wrong and how I'll never be able to make you proud of me like right now I'm failing you I failed everyone I'm failing Aizawa and Present Mic and Nezu a-"

"Izuku you're rambling again," he said, gently wrapping his arm around the boy who was, by all means except biological, his son.

"I'm sorry sir," he whispered and put a hand over his mouth.

"How long have you been doing this?" he asked, leaning back in the seat.

"Maybe two years."

"Have you ever thought about seeing a therapist, I can help you set up an appointment with an old friend of mine?"

Izuku nodded, "I didn't want to seem like the wrong choice for your powers, All-Might, I thought I could deal with it myself."

"What else have you tried to calm the thoughts, Izuku?"

"Music," he started out, "And sometimes baths or showers work. I try lavender and facemasks sometimes. They used to help mom and they help Jiro."

"That's good. So why do you uh, harm yourself then?"

"Because when they don't work I can um. I force endorphins."

"You can do that other ways," he said, looking down at the kid with a small smile. "You can text me at any point kiddo, anything you need I'll get. If you want we can spar, or talk, or we can go get ice cream or do something to get your mind off of everything."

"But I don't want to bother you," Izuku said, looking up at him. All-Might laughed quietly at this.

"Izuku you could never bother me. You're practically my son. Plus, I'd rather help you out knowing you're having a bad day than see you hurt yourself anymore. Do you understand?"

Izuku nodded.

"Do you want to try anti-anxiety medications, or do you think therapy will help?"

"I would like to try an anti-anxiety if that's okay with you."

"Kiddo I don't care, I hope you realize this doesn't change anything. I do not care if you're on anti-anxiety medications. I just want you to be okay and happy and safe."

"Thank you."

"It's no problem. I'll call Recovery girl in the morning. For now, we have something we need to do."

"W-what's that?"

"We are going to your dorm room and I am removing your self-harming tools."

"I-," Izuku started to say, but he quieted himself and nodded. All-might grabbed a shoe box from under his desk and pulled out the backup shoes, putting them on the floor by the door.

"This should work, shouldn't it?" he asked.

"Yeah, it should work."

/

Izuku was anxious as all could be when he walked back into the dorm rooms. He was also perplexed, how could Todoroki have known what his injuries were, and, furthermore, where was he?

Students glanced at him as All-Might led him to his dorm, thinking that he was in trouble. However, and much to his appreciation, they were all waved away by his mentor, which avoided what Izuku could have imagined was at least eight different interactions. He smiled at the ground.

He paused at his dorm door. Todoroki was sitting on the floor next to it.

"Hey, Izuku. Are you alright?" he asked nodding at his teacher.

"Y-Yeah. Why are you here?" he whispered, his voice sore.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Oh. Um. I'm just going to go inside my room now."

Izuku unlocked his door as Todoroki and All-Might shared a look. His anxiety said that they were disgusted with him, but logic had regained a hold in his brain. He knew they cared and that they were here to help him.

"Thank you, Todoroki. What you have done today was brave."

The door opened to a bedroom full of hero merchandise, some of which seemed to be of his prodigy's own creation. He was quite the talented artist, the kid, if he hadn't aspired to be a hero he would have done fantastic as a comic book artist or something similar. Todoroki found himself admiring the work passively from the doorway behind All-Might – that is when he wasn't nudging other students away.

Izuku bowed his head as he walked towards his bed, reaching under the pillow case and removing a box cutter. He placed it at the foot of his bed. All-Might retrieved it and put it inside of the box. His chest ached at every new instrument. A razor was removed from his drawer, the cabinet in the bathroom held one as well. He pulled out a pocket knife from behind a painting.

"All-Might could you move please. I need to close my door."

"May I come in or would you prefer I stay outside of your room?" Todoroki asked, wishing to comfort his friend.

"You can come in. I'm sorry about the merchandise. I know it's childish but-"

"Izuku you're a fantastic artist. Do not apologize."

"O-okay."

The door shut softly and Todoroki sat at the desk. He removed pins from the board taped to his door, on which was a few notebook pages which seemed to be of utmost importance.

"I shouldn't have these. I'll um. I'll get a chalkboard. Or some tape."

"You're very mature, young Midoriya, I'm very proud of you."

"So why didn't you ask me for help?" Todoroki asked, then chastised himself.

"I always looked up to you," he said after a moment, smiling. "I didn't want you to look down on me god I sound like Kacchan."

"Well, if it makes you feel better I don't. I'm here to help you if you need me."

"O-Okay," he said, smiling softly at Shoto.

"You look exhausted, kiddo, you should really go to bed," All-Might said when he closed the box. He seemed to want to crush the blades into dust, however was refraining from such.

"In a bit. I wanna talk to Todoroki for a bit, and then get some dinner. Kacchan made Italian. I can smell it from here," he said. He regained a bit of the light in his eyes as he said that. All-Might let out a happy, loud laugh.

"God, kiddo, you're something else. All right. I'll go. You be safe."

"Thank you," Todoroki said and Izuku echoed quickly, bowing to him.

"I will be safe."

/

I encourage you guys to leave a review suggesting what sort of fanfictions you would like me to write as well as any improvements you may think of. Thank you for reading.


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